Movies, books, songs and stories make us believe that the coming to maturity and age will occur through a somewhat special and enigmatic experience. There is a place and time for everything, except learning. Learning happens all the time. The constant process of asimilation of information and experience never stops. We will learn until we drop down from reason and descend into the never ending abyss of the mind. I always thought that life is similar to a story. The main difference is that the author and the main character is the same person. This occurs in the very peaceful and generally lovable hypothesis that we can directly and brutally control our own life and destiny.
The storyline forms the character that builds the story and further changes it to his specs. Sounds a bit redundant, as if we set ourselves on a path that we later change following the original choice. So we may in theory change the path at any time, but due to inerent and sistematic habbits we might as well stick to the original idea. And then we blame destiny and fate for our own helplessness in changing the world to the expectations we have initially developed. With time the expectations drop, as in they become more 'realistic and tangible', and we lose the sense of failure that clings about like a weasel on a burning tree.
And then we at some point discover that we learned nothing from the entire experience and bitterly regret every moment of it. And we get sad. And thoughts start wondering about like napkins in 0 G, flowing freely and with no connection to one another. And there is no climax, no redemption and no clear conclusion of what the experience has taught us, nothing but our own construct that guides our kind.
We are guided by mixed targets and directions, being both the master and the slave. Master of our destiny and happiness, slaves to our cravings and thoughts, society binding us to behave in certain ways, to consume different products, all this while encouraging us to think for ourselves, and be better people, and obey other people's ideas. A mix of destruction and construction. Our nature and will destroyed while fake necessities constructed and implanted deep within our nerves.
I am confused and lost. Uncertain the future is. The path of life that i forge within my reach is left misty and unclear. If i do not see where i am going perhaps i should pull over and ask for directions. The compass that is my heart i trust, may my trust be just and fare, for my thoughts transcend this time-space and enter the realm of the supernatural much too often. Too many coincidences, for someone with no belief and faith in them...